


Broken Bones & Demon Limbs

by M_Gvnnvlfsen



Category: Divergent Series - Veronica Roth, Heirsound (Band), PVRIS (Band)
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-13
Updated: 2015-12-13
Packaged: 2018-05-06 12:18:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5416751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/M_Gvnnvlfsen/pseuds/M_Gvnnvlfsen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lyndsey Gunnulfsen was a girl from Abnegation, but she knew she didn't belong there. She was a living contradiction of her faction's beliefs.</p><p>She leaves her faction behind for the life she's always craved. However, she soon discovers that there's more to her new life than meets the eye.</p><p>Her initiation instructor, Alexa San Román, seems to have taken a special interest in her and trains her with particular focus. Lyndsey doesn't know the danger she's in or the extent of her true capabilities, but she will have to use them if she wants to live...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Changes

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first story on AO3, so I apologize if it seems a bit unsuited for the site. I actually came here from Wattpad and I'm used to that style, so I'll do my very best.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First chapter of Broken Bones & Demon Limbs. Based on Divergent by the brilliant and talented Veronica Roth.

**(Lyndsey's P.O.V.)**

I know I don't fit my faction's standards. My mother had to try very hard to hide her beauty. For my parents and my brother, Josh, it was easy to blend in, to lose themselves. For me, it was a lot harder. Going to church with them every Sunday. Having our dinner and conversations every night. It was good, but I wanted more out of my life. I was bored with this lifestyle.

Growing up, we're taught to be selfless. To deny ourselves and our vanity. My faction, we wear grey and try to appear plain. That was the first sign that I'm different. I hated my grey clothing. We didn't wear very much makeup but I loved eyeliner, which was what people thought was a factor of our vanity. I have a birthmark on my nose and since we don't use makeup, I can't cover it up.

I've always secretly admired the people of the Dauntless faction. Their trait is bravery. They're basically a militant faction. They guard the gates and are nurses or have other careers. Abnegation runs the government. Amity is in charge of farming and food sourcing. Candor also participates in the government and handles criminals. Erudite is a steady source of teachers, mathematicians, scientists, doctors and other people in positions of high intellect.

"Lyndsey, it's time for you to get ready, honey," mother said, gently waking me up.

I got up and got ready. Today is the aptitude test. I followed her downstairs and she gestured for me to sit down for my bimonthly haircut. My hair is long and brown. It grows very fast and it's basically a mane. Mom clips the ends of my hair and I gaze up at the mirror once, and only for a second or two.

"Mom, were you nervous when you were taking the test?" I asked. She nodded.

"I was actually terrified, but I didn't have any reason to be," she said.

I nodded and she smiled. I joined them for breakfast and my father wished us both luck on our tests. I'm terrified that the test will tell me what I already know, that I'm not Abnegation and that I have to leave my family but I'm even more terrified of it telling me to stay.

Josh and I got on the bus and sat down. During the ride, Josh gave his seat up for an elderly man. I feel guilty, harboring these thoughts. If my family knew I secretly dreamed of leaving them and this faction behind, what would they say? My father is one of the faction's political leaders. Would he denounce me as his daughter?

The bus finally stops in front of the building that serves as the aptitude testing institute. All 16-year-olds were standing in lines with their factions, waiting to take their test. My brother and I take our place among them. I look around at all the factions' teenagers. I see an ignorant Candor boy harassing a boy from my faction and I'm about to step in when Josh stops me. I distracted myself with looking at the factions again. Wait, Dauntless! Where are the Dauntless teens?

I'm interrupted in my thoughts by excited shouting and cheering. I turned and saw the train passing by, the Dauntless teens on it. They quickly jumped off the train and ran towards the building as I looked on in amazement. After the Dauntless teens arrived, the institute started to do the aptitude tests. After a while, I was next to take the test. I was nervous and my palms had gotten sweaty.

"Lyndsey Gunnulfsen," a Dauntless woman said.

I followed her into the room and saw that the walls were lined with full body mirrors. I quickly looked away from them and the woman smirked. "You Abnegation and your mirrors," she said.

"Mirrors are just a symbol of our vanity," I responded.

She sat me down in the seat and started attaching wires to me. I watched her, noticing the heavy, dark makeup around her eyes and the blonde waves that framed her face.

"My name is Taylor Momsen and I'll be conducting your test today," she smiled.

She handed me a small glass of clear liquid.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Bottoms up," she said.

I drank the liquid and it felt like fire sliding down my throat. I closed my eyes for a bit, then opened them again. Taylor and the computers were gone, replaced by more mirrors. I walked towards the wall, staring at my reflections. One of them was faced away from me so I walked towards that one.

"You have to choose," I heard a voice say.

I turned and saw one of my reflections staring at me sternly. I looked behind me and saw 5 bowls with different items on them. I looked back at the reflection.

"Why?" I asked.

"Choose now, before it's too late," she replied. I looked back at the bowls to see that they were empty.

"It's too late," she whispered before vanishing.

I heard a low growl and turned to find a large tiger staring hungrily at me. I backed away slowly and it advanced forward. It let out another low growl, then started running towards me. I closed my eyes and waited to feel its fangs rip through my throat, but the feeling never came. A little purr came from something that was nudging my hand. I opened my eyes and saw a tiger cub where the bloodthirsty tiger would've been. I petted the little cub and it continued to purr and rub its head against my hand.

I heard a giggle and looked up to see a girl smiling at me and the cub. I heard a growl, looked back and the cub was a fully grown tiger again. The tiger let out another growl and started to run towards the girl. I gasped and chased after the tiger, catching it and wrapping my arms around it as we fell. We fell through the floor and the scene changed.

I was on the bus again, but it was just me and another man who was reading a newspaper. He looked up at me and grimaced, shoving the newspaper close to my face.

"Do you know this woman?" he asked, pointing to a picture of a woman in the paper.

I felt that I knew her for some reason but I was so put off by the man that I didn't know if I should tell him or not. I shook my head.

"I'm sorry, but I don't know her," I said. His face became an angry scowl.

"You're lying! You have to know her! You can help me, you can save me!" he yelled frantically, clutching at my clothes.

"Sir, I'm sorry, but I really can't help you! Please let me go!" I pleaded. He threw me to the floor and wrapped a hand around my throat. I felt myself losing consciousness...

I sat up in the chair, gasping and looking around in confusion. Taylor pulled me out of the chair and hurriedly tried to rush me out of the room.

"You have to leave now! Go before the supervisor comes in," she whispered.

"Wait, what were my results?" I asked, refusing to leave.

"You need to go, please," she hissed. I shook my head, demanding to know my results.

"Abnegation," she said.

I looked down at my shoes in barely concealed disappointment.

"And Dauntless. And Erudite," she said.

I looked up at her.

"What? That doesn't make any sense. My results-"

"Your results were inconclusive," she said.

"No, that's impossible!" I said, shaking my head frantically.

"It's not impossible, just very rare. It's called 'Divergent'. You can't let anyone know about your results," she explained.

"The test was supposed to tell me what faction I belong in," I responded.

"The test just didn't work on you. Now, I'm not going to mention this to anyone. You're going to go home and if anyone asks, you say the serum made you sick and that I sent you home," she said.

I nodded reluctantly and left, taking the bus back home. I laid in bed for a few hours, thinking of what Taylor told me.

I'm Divergent. I have the choice of staying in Abnegation and living this life or leaving it and my family behind to make a new life for myself. I get up and take a shower to distract myself from my thoughts. After I dried off and got dressed in a fresh pair of clothes, I started to cut up vegetables for dinner.

Josh was home by 2:30 and he helped me cut the vegetables.

"Hey, what happened to you? I couldn't find you after I got out of the building," he asked.

I shrugged. "I got sick and my test administrator sent me home early," I said, feeding him the lie Taylor told me to tell if anyone asked.

"Well, what were your results?" he asked.

"What were yours?" I said.

He dropped the subject and we continued to cut the vegetables.

Mom and dad were home at 5 and they helped us cook dinner. After we all finished, we sat at the table and ate. Dad talked about his day and I drowned it all out, eating silently.

"Lyndsey?" I heard someone say. I looked up to see the three of them staring at me.

"I'm sorry?" I said.

"I asked how your day was?" dad said.

"Oh, it was okay. The testing serum had made me sick so I was sent home early," I said. That was all that was said on the subject.

After dinner, we all cleaned up and prepared for bed. I walked upstairs to my room when Josh grabbed my arm and pulled me to the side.

"Lyndsey, I don't want you to be nervous about tomorrow. Think of what you want," he said, then walked into his room and closed the door.

I was left utterly confused by his words. Does he know about my thoughts of leaving my family?

I walked into my room and got changed into my pajamas. I laid in bed and thought about everything that happened to me today. I'm Divergent. I don't conform to normal standards. I finally closed my eyes and allowed myself to sleep, my final thought of the night about my decision tomorrow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up before my mom could wake me and got ready for the day. Mom pinned up my hair in our faction's standard bun and we all ate breakfast then went to the building that would house today's choosing ceremony. We walked in and were greeted by Christina Grimmie, the leader of Erudite.

She shook our hands and walked onto the stage, giving us a speech about our choices and the importance of these decisions. After her speech, the ceremony started. A list of all the teens that were choosing today was read from. It was in reverse alphabetical order so I'd wait and since my brother was the male and was older, he'd go before me. After watching others choose and hearing their original faction either cheer or gasp as they chose, my heart started pounding.

"Joshua Gunnulfsen," the Abnegation leader announced.

My heartbeat raced to my ears as I watched him. He sliced the palm of his hand and stared at the bowls. He held his palm over the bowl containing water.

"Erudite," the leader announced.

Gasps were heard from the Abnegation members as he walked to sit among the members of the faction that wanted us to no longer have any part of the government, perhaps the society.

"Lyndsey Gunnulfsen," the leader called out.

I stood and walked to the stage, the choices that could change my life coming closer with each step I took. I took the fresh knife and cut into my left palm, clenching my teeth at the burn. I held my left hand with my right and stared at the bowls. Where do I really belong? Am I honest? Kind? Selfless? Intelligent? Or brave? I took a deep breath and held my hand over the bowl.

The sizzle of the hot coals reached my ears as my blood made contact with them.

"Dauntless," my former faction leader announced.

I walked off the stage and sat with my new faction. I could feel my parents' eyes burning into me as they stared but I refused to look back.

I left the Hub and ran with the other Dauntless members. They started climbing the train's railings and I climbed after them. I stared in amazement, as I'd never gotten to ride the train but it didn't stop.

The Dauntless teens chased the train and started jumping onto it. I followed them and mimicked their actions, barely pulling myself into the train. A short girl with brown hair helped me.

"You're alright. I've got you," she said as she pulled me in. I slumped against the wall and tried to even out my breathing.

"My name is Taylor Jardine. Call me Tay," she said with a smile.

"Lyndsey Gunnulfsen," I panted.

"They're trying to kill us," she laughed. I nodded in agreement.

A Dauntless-born girl told everyone to get ready. They were preparing to jump again. Are these people dense?

"What'll happen if we don't jump?" a blonde haired girl asked.

"You'll be factionless," a redheaded boy said.

"Shut up, Jesse!" Tay hissed.

We all stood up and prepared ourselves. One after the other, everyone except Tay and I had jumped. She looked at me and I could see nervousness and exhilaration in her eyes. It's now or never.

She took my hand into her own and looked at me again.

"Together?" she said. I nodded and smiled.

"Together," I said and we ran and jumped off the train, landing on our sides next to each other on the roof of a building. We stood up and joined the rest of the group.

A man stood in front of us with a smirk on his face.

"Welcome, new initiates. My name is Justin Hills. I'll be training you, along with a few more instructors," he said.

I looked down and it finally settled in. I'm starting my new life now.

_"Welcome to Dauntless. Welcome to your new lives."_


	2. Alexa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lynn and the others reach the Dauntless Compound and meet their initiation instructors. Alexa is introduced in this chapter, along with the Dauntless way of life.

**(Lynn's P.O.V.)**

Justin walked along the ledge of the roof we stood on carelessly.

"There is only one way into the Dauntless compound," he explained, smoothing out his chestnut brown hair with the palm of his hand. "And it's off this ledge."  
    
"Are you people crazy? What sort of logic is there in jumping off a roof?" the blonde Erudite transfer rattled in her squeaky voice.

She straightened her aquamarine blouse and patted her white skirt down, getting rid of any creases or residue from the jump.  
   
"This isn't Erudite," Jesse, the ginger Dauntless-born barked back.

"Then why aren't you jumping, wise guy?" the blonde shot back.

Jesse remained quiet, clenching his fists at his sides. I sighed, running my hands through my mid-length brown hair. Abnegation customs require us to tie it back, but ever since today I've begun wearing it down. I stepped slowly towards the ledge, trying not to trip over my loose grey slacks. I looked down only to be greeted by a pit of seemingly never ending darkness.

Here goes nothing. I pulled my grey pullover above my head and threw it aside, just leaving me in the grey tanktop I always wore underneath. I could hear catcalls emerge from behind me, and stepped off the ledge.

The wind enveloped me in its gentle embrace as I fell, I began to wonder where it'd end. I could feel myself being caught by something hard. I gripped it, realizing it was a net. I couldn't help but laugh to myself, pure hysteria.

A hand extended and grabbed me by the arm, pulling me out of the net and planting me firmly on the ground. I traced it back to its owner, being a young woman. She had shoulder-length ebony hair, which framed her green eyes and face perfectly. I could tell she had a great deal of strength, mainly because I could see some of the toned muscles on her arms sticking out from her plain black t-shirt. 

"What's your name?" she asked curtly, tapping her sneakers and awaiting my response.

Another woman appeared from behind her, wearing a short black dress and combat boots, her hair was a cotton candy blue and fell in long tresses down her back.  
   
"Wow Alexa, a stiff? First jumper, I can't believe it," the blue-haired girl squealed, her hazel eyes lighting up like she was getting a front-row seat to a rare exhibit at the zoo.

So, Alexa, that's her name. I glanced back at her, remembering she'd asked me a question several moments earlier.

"You can only choose once," Alexa warned, directing her gaze to me, I couldn't help but stare at her.

I opened my mouth to speak but stopped myself. Lyndsey doesn't sound right anymore, new life, new name.

I let a smirk make its way onto my face as I spoke.

"Lynn, my name is Lynn Gunn," I said confidently.

She smirked and turned away from me.

"First jumper, Lynn Gunn!" she announced.

I heard cheers surrounding me and I looked down in embarrassment.

"Too late to be shy now, Stiff," she said.

I stayed out of the way, trying to hide my anger at that damned nickname.

After everyone had jumped and landed safely, Alexa led us into this area she called "The Pit", which was filled with Dauntless people.

"This is our center of life," she said.

I looked down at all the people and I realized how beautiful they were, physically and in my mental image. I smiled at them and we walked back through the halls.

"This is the training room. You'll be making regular use of this room for the next few weeks," she said.

I looked at the two people sparring in the middle of the room. We kept walking and ended up in a room with beds lining the walls.

"This is where you'll be sleeping," Alexa said.

"Girls or boys?" I asked. She sighed and turned to look at me.

"Both," she said simply.

I could feel my eyes about to burst from my skull. I never had to worry about this in Abnegation! I have to change in front of guys?!?! I stepped back, sinking into the crowd. Am I really expected to do this? I come to the front of the crowd again.

"You don't honestly expect us to live like this, do you?" I asked. I caught Alexa rolling her eyes as she looked at me again.

"I expect you to keep your damn mouth shut if you want to live, period," she hissed.

I looked at the floor in embarrassment. She pointed to a digital board that suddenly came to life, our names on the screen. Justin walked into our line of sight, that smirk still evident on his face.

"This board is your lifeline. If you're below the red line by the end of the first challenge, you're out," he said.

"Out?" Tay asked.

"Yes. You'll be cut from the initiation and you'll live factionless," he said.

"What? Why weren't we told this?" the blonde girl, Jenna asked.

"Would you have changed your mind? Chosen differently? If so, then you don't belong in Dauntless," he hissed.

I looked down at my shoes, feeling like a scolded child. Justin left the room and Alexa glared daggers at his back.

"Alright, Dauntless-born, you all go with Ashley," she gestured to a woman with an interesting hairstyle.

Half of her hair was red, contrasting with the black on the other half. The Dauntless-born teens left quickly and the group became a more manageable size.

"Follow me. You're not going to fit in at Dauntless, wearing your old faction's clothes. Especially you, Stiff," she said, staring at me.

I clenched my teeth. Am I going to have to put up with that here as well?

We followed her and she gestured to a pile of clothes in the dim hallway.

"Take what you need and go get changed," she ordered.

We all quickly grabbed some clothes and walked back to the sleeping quarters and started to change. I hid away from everyone, trying to cover my body as I took off my clothes.

"Yeah, Stiff! Come on, give us a show," a boy said. I didn't look up to see who it was.

After I managed to pull on the skinny black jeans, I had no problem with the black tank top. Alexa gestured for me to come to her, which I reluctantly did after grabbing my old clothes. She led me down another hallway, which was slightly darker than the others. There was a fire pit on one side of the hall, and she led me over to it.

"Throw your old clothes into it. If you want to be Dauntless, then you have to let go of your old faction entirely. I know it's hard, but—" I quickly cut her off.

"No, you don't! You have no idea what it's like. My parents are alone now, because my brother and I were too damn selfish to stay with them. I'm dead to them now, I already know. Don't you dare try to tell me you know what I'm going through," I hissed. I threw the clothes into the flames and walked away.

Alexa quickly caught my arm and pinned me against the wall.

"I know more than I'd like to about the situation. You aren't the only one that has problems, so get the fuck off your high horse. Another thing, don't show emotions to the others. They'll see it as a form of weakness and they will hunt you down. You won't last a week," she hissed. She was frighteningly close to my face, her eyes level with mine.

"You have great potential in you. I can see it in your eyes. I'll train you personally," she said.

I quickly pushed her away.

"Why me? I don't need your help. I can make it on my own," I growled, walking away from her.

I walked back into the sleeping quarters and sat on the empty bed next to Tay's. Alexa came into the room soon after, her eyes immediately settling on me.

"Everyone in the pit. 3 minutes," she said, turning on her heels and leaving.

We all walked down into the pit and saw that the other members were sitting at tables. Soon after, we had plates piled with food. I stared at my plate blankly.

"What's wrong? Haven't you ever seen a hamburger before?" Jenna asked. I nodded and looked back at the food. "I've just never eaten one before."

"Wait a minute. Abnegation actually eat?" a boy asked. I turned and almost glared at him. He had a smile on his face, as if he hadn't just insulted me.

"Alex, babe, you're being rude," a boy with freckles said. I turned and looked at him, immediately noticing his spiked hair.

"Sorry about my boyfriend. My name is Brian. I transferred from Erudite. Alex is from Candor. We both came here so we could be together and not worry about inter-faction relationship problems," he said, holding his hand out. I hesitantly shook it and they continued chatting with everyone while I zoned out.

Everyone drolled on unceremoniously while I stared into the ceiling. This is going to be an interesting next few weeks. I could hear the chatter from the tables beside and across from ours. 

"It's time to go to our first training session," Tay beamed, her dimples making their presence known.

She got up and tossed her tray into one of the trashcans that were situated around the perimeter of the cafeteria. Alex, Brian, Jenna and myself followed. Tay split up from us, heading off to the sleeping quarters to change her clothes. We'd been informed we were to train separately from the Dauntless-born for the first stage and our ranks would be combined for the second and to the end. Many of the transfers had no qualms towards letting their complaints be known.

We made our way to the training area in silence for the most part except when Alex kept pulling at the ends of Jenna's hair to annoy her which was actually quite entertaining to watch. We walked in to the dimly lit room seeing that a few of the other transfers had already settled in, chattering with pistols in hand, I just now realized there were large navy blue targets on the wall.

I grabbed one of the pistols that was hung perpendicular to the targets along with several other forms of weaponry. It felt heavy in my hands and made me feel secure in a way, having some sort of control over something even if it was just a gun during target practice.

Alexa stood in the doorway, the outside lighting cast a sweet glow on her seemingly stern features. Her eyes glistened beautifully in the light and I couldn't help but be enchanted. 

"As you have all come to realize by now, we're working with guns today," she continued pacing along in front of the targets and we all turned our necks like owls would in order to keep up with her.

"You can't expect to be able to defend anyone else without first being able to defend yourself," Alexa continued, glancing at me ever so often as she continued explaining.

I'd used up two magazines and hadn't managed to even hit the target. I sighed in frustration and reloaded the gun, relaxing at the now familiar click of the round going into the chamber. I tried again, missing, two more times, still missing.

"You're too tense."

I jumped at the sound of Alexa's voice from behind me, I was so zoned out I didn't even notice she'd been behind me. God knows how long she'd been standing there. She stepped closer to me and placed her hands lightly on both of my shoulders and I took a breath. Alexa moved over to my left side and grabbed my upper arm, lifting it higher so the gun then aligned a bit above the target. 

"Now, you have to make sure you're prepared for the recoil or else your bullets are all going to end up in the floorboards," she explained, looking up at me expectantly. I nodded.

"Also make sure to stand up straight, chin up, shoulders back with one foot in front of another, you have all the power here," she reminded me, placing her hand on my back and whispering the last line in my ear, the feeling of her breath on my skin for a split second was euphoric, I didn't know why and I wasn't too sure what would happen if I were to try to figure it out. 

Alexa ran her fingertips over the bare skin of my shoulder as she walked away, going to help one of the other transfers. Jenna had hit the target twice within the second ring, Alex had almost managed to hit it in the middle and Brian was right on point. I took the stance Alexa had taught me and to my relief, I hit the middle of the target myself several times by the time the session had ended.

Tay met me outside of the training facility with her usual perky smile plastered on her face the way clouds are on the sky. She grabbed me by the arm, leaving an oblivious Jenna to fend for herself. 

"Where are you taking me?" I questioned, digging my heels into the ground in an effort to slow her down just a bit.

"It's a surprise," she smirked at me, her bangs falling to the side a bit. 

After a long, strenuous walk along the pit, we made it to a small shop which I presumed was a tattoo parlour. My father always told me tattoos were markings of the Devil, I couldn't help but think this might not be such a bad surprise after all. We were greeted by a large muscular man who didn't appear to have a blank patch of skin on his body.

"What can I do for you ladies?" he greeted, flashing us a slight smile.

I surveyed my surroundings, the walls were striped with red and black, several work stations littered the shop along with several drawings that were hung on the wall. I improvised my ideas, including a P written in a gorgeous font for behind my ear, an arrow for my forearm, 13 in lightning bolt font on my ankle, and a symbol for my zodiac sign on my wrist. I also opted to get a nose piercing and do that weird stretching thing with my ears. If my parents could see me now...

After we got out of the tattoo parlour, Tay marveled at my new ink and piercings and I complimented hers. We walked back to the Dauntless Compound and spent a few hours on target practice.

After we finished that, we joined the other transfers and went to have dinner. We had pizza, French fries and some of the well known _Dauntless Triple Threat cake_. It was so delicious and we all went to bed with satisfied stomachs.

_I think I could get used to this..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter finished. I'm happy to receive feedback and constructive criticism. Feel free to tell me your thoughts.


	3. Dreaming Of You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lynn has a dream about Alexa and Alexa hears her call her name out in her sleep, so she goes to investigate.

**(Lynn's P.O.V.)**

_"Hey, beautiful," I heard her whisper. I turned and saw her staring at me, her eyes filled with adoration. She pulled me into her arms and stroked my hair, tucking a few loose strands behind my ear._

_"Congrats," she whispered. I stared in confusion._

_"For what?" I asked. She smiled as if amused by my question._

_"You're a member of Dauntless now, sweetheart," she said happily. "Which means... that I can do this a lot more often now," she said, leaning in and kissing me. Her tongue quickly slid across my lip as her hands traveled downwards, settling on my waist._

_"You are so beautiful. Let me show you," she whispered, taking my hand and leading me towards her bedroom._

_At this point, I finally noticed our surroundings. We were in an apartment, which I assumed was Alexa's._

_She gently laid me down and caressed my cheek._

_"I can't stop thinking about you, Lynn. Something about you... just makes me want you. I can barely control myself. When I saw you at target practice, I just wanted to take you away and have you to myself," she said. She kissed my forehead, the tip of my nose and finally, my lips._

_This is wrong, so wrong, but that wasn't the only thought crossing my mind. Alexa's lips moved rhythmically against mine as I followed her lead nervously. She rested her hands on my waist again, bending down as she moved my hair from my neck, placing soft kisses along the skin._

_She looked up at me with a painfully sweet smile on those glorious lips. Her hands traveled underneath my tank top deftly, letting it ride up as she went. Alexa slid it off me quickly, sucking right above my collarbones and I began to feel more self-conscious._

_'How are you letting this happen?' My subconscious snarled._

_"Alexa," I mumbled. She stopped, looking at me with an understanding expression._

_"Just trust me," she responded, lacing her fingers in my hair._

_I couldn't help but nod as I found myself easing into her touch. Alexa sat up momentarily, taking her loose black t-shirt off, revealing more of her muscular frame than I ever envisioned myself seeing. Her lower half grinded against mine as she leant down, kissing the midline of my stomach until my jeans blocked her path. She proceeded to undo the zipper and I became aware of what was going to happen._

_"I can't, Alexa, I'm sorry," I said loud enough so she'd be able to hear._

_She looked at me with a kind smile as I looked away, trying to somehow stop the utter humiliation I was about to face._

_She shifted so she was laying next to me and kissed the top of my head._

_"It's fine, you don't have to do anything you don't feel comfortable with," she told me._

_I couldn't help but sigh in relief. She draped the duvet over us, pulling me close and letting my head rest on her chest._

_"Goodnight Lynn," Alexa whispered._

_"Goodnight Alexa," I responded, letting the sound of her heartbeat lull me to sleep._

I woke with a start, gasping and staring into the darkness that enveloped the room. I shook my head, feeling a few tears slip. I heard someone shift and footsteps coming towards me. I saw the outline of a person kneel next to my bed and reach out for me.

"Are you okay?" I heard a familiar voice ask.

Alexa. She must have heard me.

"Alexa?" I called out.

Her hand found my own and held it, as if she were trying to comfort me. The bed shifted and I felt her weight next to me.

"I'm here," she whispered.

I fell into her open arms, allowing myself to finally let my feelings out. She ran a hand soothingly through my hair. I cried and clutched her as if she'd disappear if I let her go.

"I probably don't look much like Dauntless material right now, since I'm sobbing and gripping you," I whispered, laughing bitterly at my joke. She shushed me, looking into my eyes.

"No, Lynn. You've got the wrong idea, sweetie," she said, causing me to blush at the affectionate nickname.

She wrapped her arms around me and I immediately felt warmer and... and safer.

"Being Dauntless isn't about being emotionless and using brute force. No, being Dauntless is about having the bravery to show your emotions and to stand up and protect those who cannot protect themselves. Being Dauntless is about acknowledging your fears and eventually, overcoming them. One can't be fearless, as that is impossible but it is possible to overcome your fears and become stronger and braver," she said.

"Thank you. I think I understand the meaning behind the faction's manifesto better," I said.

She nodded and slid from behind me. I quickly grabbed her arm and she turned to look at me.

"Please don't leave. Stay," I said. She shook her head and knelt to my level.

"Lynn, I have to go. If I stay and the others wake up... they'll think you're cheating and they'll target you. I have to go," she said.

I silently pleaded with her. She cupped my face in her hands and stared at me.

"Come back to my house with me," she whispered.

I nodded and she smiled as I stood up. She took my hand and we crept from the sleeping quarters. She led me through the hallways and out of the Compound. We walked through the streets and finally stopped in front of a solitary building's door. She entered a code into a keypad and the door unlocked. She opened it and led me inside. It was a warm and cozy house with a delicious smell wafting through the place.

"What's that wonderful smell?" I asked blissfully.

She led me to the kitchen and poured me a cup of hot chocolate that she'd made.

"Drink up," she said, smiling warmly. I drank it and hummed in delight.

"Alexa, this is wonderful. Is it homemade?" She nodded and sat next to me at the table.

We drank our hot chocolate and enjoyed the comfortable silence. As I expected, she broke the silence with a question.

"Stay the night?"

I nodded and she led me upstairs to her bedroom. I waited nervously as she rummaged through her drawers, searching relentlessly. She grunted in satisfaction as she held up a red 65 jersey and a pair of long socks.

"Wear this. It'll keep you warm... and you'll look gorgeous in it," she said, whispering the last part.

I gratefully took the shirt and went into her bathroom to change. After I got changed, she took my clothes downstairs to her basement, put them in her washing machine and waited for it to finish washing them. Afterwards, she put them in her dryer and turned it on, coming back upstairs to find me laying in her bed. She changed into a black tank top and some pajama pants and crawled into bed.

We stared at each other, breathing deeply. She caressed my cheek and shifted closer to me.

"Are you warm?" she asked. I shook my head and got deeper under the blankets.

"Sorry. I'm used to sleeping alone. If you want, I could— I could cuddle you to warm you up," she whispered nervously.

I nodded and shifted closer so she could wrap me in her arms. We snuggled up and I buried my face in her neck. I breathed in her scent and familiarized myself with it. She smelled like lavender.

She ran her fingers through my hair and started to hum. I fell asleep to the rhythmic pulse in her skin and her soft humming.

_**(Alexa's P.O.V.)** _

I was walking back from the control room that I worked in during night hours. My "apartment" was located outside of the Dauntless compound, so it isn't the shortest walk but I don't mind, it gives me time to think. The dormitory door had been left open due to trainees' tendencies to flee in the middle of the night.  I walked past it, peering in momentarily, everyone was sleeping. I could make out Lynn, since her bed was angled towards the door and the small amount of light entering the room outlined her face. Her lips were parted slightly and I could hear some incoherent mumblings ever so often from the shaking girl. She talks in her sleep, how cute. I walked inside quietly and crouched next to her bed, watching her chest rise and fall with every breath she took.

"Alexa," I heard her mumble.

For a minute I thought she'd seen me, but Lynn still appeared to be sound asleep. 'She's dreaming about me,' I thought to myself, finally putting the pieces together. I couldn't help but smile at the sleeping girl, feeling relief in knowing that she wouldn't know I'd been here. I stood up from her bedside and brushed her unruly hair from her face gently before turning to exit the dormitory.

"Good night, Alexa," she mumbled.

I gasped and turned back towards the girl. She still appeared to be sound asleep but I remained cautious nonetheless. She suddenly woke up and stared at me. I thought she'd seen me so I just walked over and kneeled next to her bed.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

She said my name and I offered her reassurance that I'm real and I'm with her. I sat next to her on the bed and she fell into my arms, burying her face in my chest and crying. She joked about not appearing to be Dauntless because she's showing her emotions, but I told her the true meaning of the Dauntless manifesto.

I realized that I had to leave so I stood up but she grabbed my arm. I protested, telling her that I had to leave as she begged me to stay. Eventually, I asked her to come to my house with me. She agreed and we left the compound. I led her to my house, where I had a cup of hot chocolate made to warm her up. She drank it and complimented me.

I took her upstairs and gave her an old jersey and pair of socks of mine to wear. She took them gratefully and went to change. After she got changed, I took her clothes and washed them, then put them in my dryer. I walked back upstairs to find her under the blankets, nervously waiting for me. I changed into my pajamas and settled under the blankets and immediately noticed that she was shivering.

I moved closer to her and gently caressed her cheek.

"Are you warm?" I asked.

She shook her head and buried herself deeper in the blankets. I wrapped my arms around her and she snuggled into me. I apologized, having not been used to sharing my bed with another woman, or another person at all, for that matter. She had no problem though, as she'd settled in and fell asleep easily.

I hummed to soothe her as I ran my fingers through her hair. Looking down at the sleeping girl, I realize something. She's not like those girls I used to look at and have crushes on when I was younger. They were all curves and cute faces, boy obsessed and relentlessly judgmental towards people like me. Lynn is different. She's tough but still capable of having emotions. The girls I used to like were pretty. That's all they were. Pretty. Lynn isn't pretty though. That word is too small and weak to describe her.

Lynn is beautiful. She may not know it, but she's beautiful and brave. She deserves to be Dauntless and I need to do all I can to help her become that. I kissed her forehead and fell asleep, the image of her becoming an official Dauntless member being my last thought for the night.

_Our personal training will start early tomorrow..._


	4. Blackmail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Justin blackmails Alexa into becoming a Dauntless leader and Lynn makes a few personal changes.

_**(Lynn's P.O.V.)** _

I woke up early and slid out of Alexa's arms. I stumbled clumsily to her bathroom and looked at my reflection in the mirror. In that moment, I saw my mother's eyes staring back at me. I looked away, ashamed of myself. I didn't want to look back at the mirror and see her face.

I noticed a pair of scissors on the sink so I picked them up, turning them over and over in my hands. After an argument with myself, I took a few strands of my hair and snapped the scissors shut over them, severing them as I severed myself from my family. I continued doing this, eventually finding an electric shaver. I took it and shaved a few strips into the left side of my head.

I looked at myself in the mirror and finally smiled. I could see my own reflection, no longer haunted by my mother now. I quickly cleaned up all of the hair and disposed of it. I tried to sneak back into bed, but Alexa was awake and saw me.

"Where were you?" she asked tiredly. I looked away and heard her gasp.

"Did you do that to your hair?" I nodded in embarrassment. She sat up and pulled me closer, trying to get a better look. She ran her fingers over the shaved side and smiled.

"Lynn, you look beautiful," she whispered. I smiled back and she stood up.

I followed her into the kitchen and she sat me down. She started cooking and soon, the kitchen was filled with the smell of blueberry pancakes, turkey bacon and coffee. She made me a plate and poured me a cup of coffee, refusing to eat until I had. We ate together and she gave me my clothes and a jacket of hers. I took a shower and got changed, then went downstairs and tried to give her the pajamas.

"Oh, no. Those are yours now. You fit them so perfectly and seemed so comfortable last night, I just couldn't take them back, knowing that you're comfortable and attractive in them," she said.

I gratefully accepted the clothes and she smiled. "We're going to start your training today."

I followed her back to the compound and we went directly to the training room. There was a large red punching bag that Alexa wanted me to practice my punches and kicks on. She showed me a few punches and kicks and watched me practice them on the punching bag. My fists were an aggravated red by the time she allowed me to stop.

"Next, you're going to practice with me," she said eagerly. I gasped and shook my head.

"No! Alexa, you'll hurt me!" I backed away, causing her to step forward. Each step I took away, she took a step forward.

I eventually backed into a wall and she closed in on me. She leaned in close, a smirk on her face.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Lynn. I promise," she whispered. My breath caught in my throat as she leaned a bit closer. She stopped and gazed into my eyes. "Do you trust me?"

I hesitantly shook my head and her smile grew wider. She leaned close and pressed her lips against mine. My eyes widened in confusion as she continued to kiss me. Is this really happening right now? Her arms slid up my body and pinned my arms against the wall, tangling our fingers. She nipped at my lip and tugged on it. Eventually, she let me go and pulled away.

"Was— was that okay for you?" she asked nervously. I nodded, trying to hide my blushing cheeks. She took my hand and led me to the circular ring in the middle of the room.

"We should start now," she said.

After a few rounds, I was proud of the progress I'd made. I'd managed to pin Alexa down and straddle her hips, preventing her from escaping, although it seems she had almost no intention to. I got off of her and she told me to head back to the sleeping quarters, since the others would be suspicious if I just walked in, a deep blush in my cheeks. I obeyed and snuck back to the quarters, managing to get a little more sleep.

_**(Alexa's P.O.V.)** _

I spent a better part of the morning training Lynn, until she had to head back to the sleeping quarters, seeing as her fellow trainees would begin to take notice of her absence if she stayed with me any longer. I then went to the control room to do my morning shift.

The white desktop computers sat in rows separated by a small cubicle type arrangement, one of the things I'm thankful for about this position: privacy. I took a seat at the black office chair in one of the cubicles and scrolled through yesterday and today's footage, making sure all the time stamps were intact.

I noticed some from last night had been transferred and then deleted from the system, oddly. Usually the Dauntless leaders only do that with top priority Intel. Not my problem though. I powered off the computer before leaving, only to be met by Justin at the door. 

He and I don't see eye to eye on many things. If he had his way, we'd all be murderous zombies. He became appointed a Dauntless leader after I turned down the position, but he still holds a grudge, seeing as he was ranked second during initiation, guess who was first. He leaned against the door frame with a nonchalant expression icing his harsh features. He wore a leather jacket with a black tank top underneath and ripped black denim jeans. I had to resist the urge to punch him in the face.

Justin looked up at me like he'd just realized I was there, when really he's been waiting to see me. He smirked at me.

"I have something you might be interested in," he mused.

"Like hell you do, Justin. Fuck off," I spat back, pushing past him to walk out. 

"You sure?  It involves your precious little Lynn," he taunted. I reared my head around at the mention of her name. I grabbed Justin by the throat, pinning him against the wall with my arms. 

"Don't fuck with me, Justin," I warned.

He smirked back at me, as if he knew something I didn't. Justin could get out of my grip anytime if he wanted to, but he didn't. Like he has some sort of leverage to exploit.

"The council and I have been collaborating. And we believe you just need a little motivation into embracing your future as a Dauntless leader," he paused, emphasizing the last few words.    

"We've obtained the video footage from last night, when you and Lynn left together. It would cause quite the stir amongst her fellow initiates if say, someone were to get a hold of it by accident?" he smiled sinisterly.

"Don't you worry, all you have to do to stop this from happening is become a Dauntless leader during initiation. We expect the utmost cooperation, don't test us."

I let go of him, trying to come to terms with what he just said. I heard him leave and the door slamming. I paced along the confines of the control room for what seemed like hours. I needed to tell Lynn. Should I tell Lynn?

_I pulled at my hair in frustration, I guess I'd have to become a Dauntless leader._


	5. You Saved Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse brutally attacks Lynn and proceeds to finish his vicious assault when Alexa steps in and punishes him.

_**(Lynn's P.O.V.)** _

I was walking back from lunch with Tay. She'd dyed her bangs a seafoam shade of green that suited her quite well. We conversed with Jenna, Alex and Brian, sharing small talk about what we like about our new faction. We all stopped dead in our tracks when Alexa appeared in front of us. She had a crease between her eyebrows, as if she were troubled by something.

"I need to borrow Lynn for a bit, if you'll excuse us," she said, looking to my three awestruck friends, it was more of a command than a question.

Tay nodded and mouthed a good luck to me, if only she knew. Alex and Brian just stood there frozen as if I had the guillotine on my neck. Alexa grabbed my arm, pulling me with her hurriedly and we made our way to her apartment. She unlocked the door, placing her hand on the small of my back and urging me inside.

"We have a problem," she said, pacing, her combat boots tapping against the stained hardwood flooring.

"What is it? Try and calm down," I told her, placing my hands on her shoulders to halt her excessive pacing, it was making me nervous. She nodded and cleared her throat.

"Justin is blackmailing me," she said slowly.

"With what? How? What does he want?" I pressed, trying not to get hyped up myself.

"He wants me to become a Dauntless leader. If I don't agree to it, he'll leak the footage of us leaving the dormitory to the other initiates," she spoke slowly, meeting my gaze, I was hanging on every word. I suddenly realized what this meant, I was dead. I could feel the fear taking over.

"Don't worry Lynn, I'm giving him what he wants. I won't let anything happen to you," she soothed, stepping closer to me and stroking my cheek.

I looked at her and nodded, not wanting to worry her, she already had enough on her plate. 

Two days later, I was walking into the dorm and Jesse greeted me by grabbing me by the hair so quickly I didn't know how to react, he threw me against the wall.

"Gee Stiff, I never thought you'd be one to fuck the instructors," he said in an overly calm tone.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I lied, bracing myself for whatever was next.

Two more guys came in. I'd seen them around, but I'd never bothered to talk to them before. One was a tall brunette named Jerry and another was a blue haired boy on the shorter end of the spectrum whose name I thought to be Kyle. Three of them. There's no way I can fight them off.

Jerry grabbed my arm from one side and Kyle took the other, leaving Jesse with all the power. I thrashed in their holds, kicking anywhere I could. I tried screaming and Kyle put his other hand over my mouth, muffling my pleas.

"You weren't thrashing like that when Alexa came to get you," he smirked.

He had such soft features, the ginger locks and blue-green eyes, if he weren't such a terrible person, people might actually take kindly to him. He kneed me in the stomach repeatedly until I felt myself coughing up blood, he stopped, getting bored and punching me in the face a few times before getting bored again.

"What's so special about you anyways?" he said. "Maybe if I see for myself, I'd understand."

His hand went roughly up my black shirt, tearing most of the fabric. I felt hot tears flowing down my face and bit at Kyle's hand as hard as I could muster. He let go of me out of pain, which gave me the chance to scream again before Jesse hit my head against the wall and I felt surroundings begin to fade as my vision blurred. My three assailants seemed to have faded along with them.

Through my tired eyes I managed to see them laying on the floor across from me. Someone had come. Thank God. I felt myself being lifted from the cold ground, and an arm wrapped under my waist and another one underneath my knees. And I let the darkness take over.

_**(Alexa's P.O.V.)** _

They hurt her. That bastard Jesse and his dumb lackeys hurt Lynn. If I hadn't come at that moment, Jesse would've... I can't even think about it. I looked down at the unconscious girl in my arms. There wasn't much damage to her face, just a bloody nose. He's clearly not as strong as he makes himself out to be.

I took Lynn back to my apartment and gently set her down on my bed. I immediately ran to grab my first aid kit and some extra bandages. I came back and cleaned the blood from her nose. I lifted her shirt and felt my anger grow. Purple, black and blue bruises littered her skin. I felt for any broken ribs, surprisingly finding none.

Lynn is a lot tougher than those assholes give her credit for. She groaned slightly, then opened her eyes. I sat up next to her and ran my fingers through her hair.

"I'm so sorry I let them do this to you. Fuck, I should've killed them. I knew I couldn't trust Justin. That asshole," I growled.

She reached out for me and I leaned into her touch, welcoming the warmth and comfort it provided. She grimaced as she tried to sit up but I gently pushed her back down. I grabbed a bottle full of painkillers and opened it, giving her two of them along with some orange juice.

"Take these. They're very effective painkillers. I'll give you some every 6 hours. You'll be able to move around normally but don't try to strain yourself. The pills can only go so far," I said.

She took the pills and finished the cup of juice. I helped her downstairs and cooked us some food. We ate quietly, the silence quickly becoming unbearable.

I grabbed her hand and tangled our fingers together. I was about to say something when a knock distracted me from her. I stood up and opened the door to find a frantic Kellin and Vic Fuentes. Kellin stormed into the house, looking around.

"Where is she?" he said, rounding on me.

"Where is who?" I asked, confused. Vic came forward, looking at me apologetically.

"Sorry about Kellin, Alexa. He heard Justin talking to the council. Is it true?" he asked.

I sighed and told them to stay where they were. I went into the kitchen to find Lynn staring at me nervously.

"Come with me, sweetheart. My friends want to meet you," I said, holding my hand out to her. She took it and we walked into the living room.

Kellin and Vic turned around and gasped. I introduced her to them and they smiled warmly.

"He said she was easy on the eyes, but he failed to mention that she was absolutely beautiful," Kellin said, causing Lynn to blush.

"So it's true," Vic said. I nodded shamefully. "Have you—" I quickly cut him off.

"No! Vic, I haven't, and I won't unless she wants me to," I said firmly. Vic nodded and apologized.

"We just came to see if it was true. Alexa, you need to be careful. Justin has been waiting for years to find something like this to use against you. We don't want you to get hurt. Either of you," he said, then left with Kellin.

I turned back to Lynn. She smiled in a somewhat forced manner, alerting me to a problem she could have. I kneeled and lifted her shirt, examining the bruises. She hissed in pain as I ran my fingers over them. I winced as I continued, trying to be as gentle as possible. Then I remembered a serum that Sam had given me last week for any incident like this.

I had her go upstairs and lay down while I searched for the case. I found the case and ran upstairs. I took a needle and filled it with the serum.

"It's going to be okay, Lynn," I whispered, seeing her quiver at the sight of the needle filled with the peculiar, bright red liquid.

"This will permanently numb the pain and speed the healing process. It only works on certain injuries though, so I wouldn't count on it for healing a bullet or knife wound. It'll work just fine on this though," I said.

I prepped her and injected the serum into her veins. She relaxed soon after and I sighed in relief.

I heard another knock at the door and opened it to find Sam and her fiancé, Dane. I let them in and Sam hugged me.

"We heard about Justin," she said. Of course they had heard about it.

"Want me to kick his ass, Lex?" Dane asked. I smiled and nodded.

"It's alright. As long as she's okay, he's irrelevant. If that guy, Jesse, touches Lynn again, I'll hurt him a lot worse than I already did," I growled.

Sam successfully managed to distract me by asking to see Lynn. I led the two up to my room, where Lynn was asleep. Dane smiled and told me that he thinks we'd make a good couple. I smiled and sat next to her on the bed. I'm supposed to be cold and strict when it comes to new initiates, but I see something in Lynn that reminds me of myself.

"She's a lot like you, Alexa," Sam said.

I nodded and they bid me farewell before leaving me to resume caring for Lynn. I watched her as she slept. She was starting to look better already.

She slowly opened her eyes and looked at me. A tear fell from her eye and rolled down her cheek. I reached out and wiped it away. Her eyes watered and I became worried.

"Are you in pain, Lynn?" I asked.

She shook her head and pulled me into a hug, sobbing into my shoulder.

"I'm afraid I'll be cut. I won't make it if I have to live factionless. Alexa, I'm so sorry I brought you into this," she said.

"Shh, it's alright. I won't let that happen. Tomorrow night, we'll be doing a game of Capture the Flag and I want you on my team. It'll be us against Justin's team. He's more likely to choose the taller, heavier initiates, so I'll choose the shorter, quicker initiates then," I said, quickly formulating a plan.

_"Get some rest, Lynn. Tomorrow, you'll show everyone what you're capable of."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any feedback, I'm more than happy to accept it. Feel free, I don't bite.


	6. Capture The Flag

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Dauntless, initiate and member alike, all participate in their well known game of Capture The Flag.

**_(Lynn's P.O.V.)_ **

I woke up to find myself alone in bed. I looked around, not recognizing my surroundings until a figure walked into the room. I saw that the person was female and when she came close to the bed, the moonlight from the window illuminated her face. It was Sam, Alexa's younger sister. She kneeled next to the bed and smiled at me.

"Are you feeling okay?" she asked. I nodded slowly, observing her features and comparing them to her sister's. Speaking of her...

"W-where is Alexa?" I mumbled, still shaking the sleep from my mind.

Sam smiled again and stood up. She walked out of the room and I was left alone again. After a few minutes, she returned and was followed closely by Alexa. The latter quickly rushed to my side and took my hand into hers.

"Lynn, I'm going to check your bruises now. Is that alright?" I nodded and sat back as she lifted my shirt.

She inspected my abdomen, then smiled slightly. She walked over to her drawer and pulled out some clothes. She handed them to me and I stood up. I walked into her bathroom and turned the shower on, quickly undressing and getting in. I cleansed my body of the pain. Of the weakness, the suffering, Jesse's disgusting hands... I washed that all away. His hands... marring my body, making me a victim. Making me weak. Now he wouldn't affect me anymore.

I got out of the shower feeling stronger, both mentally and physically. I changed into the clothes Alexa gave me and walked out to meet her and Sam.

They were downstairs in the kitchen, having a snack and teasing each other. There was a knock at the door and Alexa went to get it, leaving me with Sam.

"Do you like Alexa?" she whispered, causing me to blush at the question.

I tried to dodge the question but she persisted. I sighed and slumped in my chair, resting my head on the table.

"Yes. I like her a lot. She's so mysterious but I like that about her. I want to know her and I want her to know me," I said.

"I can see the way she looks at you. You'll know her, alright. You'll know her soon," she said.

With that, Alexa came back into the kitchen with a guy. I'd remembered his face from when he came with Sam before. This was Dane, Sam's fiancé. He pecked Sam on the cheek and sat next to her.

Alexa sat next to me and I watched the three of them chat and joke around with each other. I could see the adoration between Dane and Sam whenever they looked at each other. I gazed over at Alexa to see her looking at me and blushing. Why is she blushing?

"Are you two ready for Capture the Flag?" Alexa asked.

Dane smirked and Sam nodded, leaning her head on his shoulder. Alexa grabbed her jacket off the back of her chair and led us out of the house, only pausing to give me a jacket.

We walked to the compound and I met up with Tay, Jenna, Alex and Brian. They were concerned about me, having heard about the incident from one of the other instructors. I reassured them that I was alright and I'd participate in the game.

We all went outside and gathered in front of the train tracks. I caught sight of Jesse standing in the crowd among a group of Dauntless-born initiates. He looked over at me and I smirked. He looked away and I swore I saw a flicker of fear in his eyes. It suits him well. He was a coward for what he did and now the others know it. He felt threatened by me so he tried to eliminate me.

The train approached and we all started to run after it and board it. Once everyone was on the train, we started preparing for the game.

"Alright. Alexa, you choose first," Justin said.

Alexa smirked and pointed at me. "The Stiff is mine."

"Going for your precious little Stiff, I see. You can have her to blame when you lose," Justin taunted. He chose Jesse.

"Tay," Alexa said.

"Chris," Justin said.

"Jenna."

"Austin."

"Dane."

"Mike."

"Vic."

"Kellin."

"Brian."

"Matty."

"Alex."

"Ronnie."

"Sam."

"Max."

They continued until everyone was on a team. There was an even amount of players on each team. I noticed that Justin picked taller, more built people while Alexa chose shorter people with smaller builds. I immediately caught onto her plan. She knew Justin would take more of an aggressive approach and pick bigger teammates. Since Alexa's group has people who are shorter and quicker, we'd have more mobility.

Justin and Alexa took an armload of guns from boxes and passed them to their team members. She smiled slightly as she handed me my gun, then continued passing out the rest of the guns.

Justin held up a tiny bullet sized vial of liquid with a needle on the end of it.

"The guns are loaded with these. A serum is in the 'bullet' that'll simulate the pain of a real gunshot wound. Lasts for a few minutes and hurts like a bitch," he explained.

Jenna scoffed and he shot her in the foot. She fell and clutched her foot, groaning in pain. Tay kneeled and wrapped her arms around the girl and took the bullet out of her foot. Both of them glared at the back of Justin's head, along with Alexa and I.

"We're almost there. Get ready to jump," Alexa announced.

I helped Jenna to her feet and we all jumped from the train. The two teams split up and went their separate ways. Once Justin's team was out of sight, we started planning. Well, people just kind of started tossing out ideas and being shot down before anything could progress.

I wandered away from the group and decided to get some higher ground before I plan anything. There were some old buildings and construction sites that offered a good view of the area— if you were brave enough to attempt to climb them.

I found an old building that had good climbing space so I started climbing. I heard someone behind me and smelled that familiar lavender as wind blew all around me. Alexa had followed me here.

"Couldn't stand being away from me?" I joked, climbing higher.

"Couldn't stand being with me?" she retorted.

We climbed higher and reached a hole in the side of the building. I helped her inside and we looked around at the ground below. I caught sight of Justin's team camping out near a row of abandoned stores. I pointed it out to Alexa and she smiled proudly.

"You sure you aren't Dauntless material?" she asked playfully.

We descended from the buildings and told the others what we saw. Jenna suggested that we split into two parts. One half will be a decoy, running in and attacking, while the other will make their way in and claim the flag while Justin's team is distracted. Alexa would lead the decoy team and Jenna volunteered me to lead the ninja team.

As they charged in, we found a different path. I led the others around the intense battle and we snuck into their base. A few people were there to guard the flag but a few bullets and they were down. We held the flag up in victory and the other half of our team cheered. We rode the train back to the compound and we all began to celebrate.

One of the Dauntless-born initiates, a boy named Justin Nace, pulled me to the side.

"Hey Lynn, you were great out there. I'm glad I was on your team. Anyway, come hang out with us for a little while. We're going to celebrate, Dauntless style!" he cheered.

The other Dauntless-born invited the transfer initiates on the team to come celebrate.

We followed them to an old building. We all watched as a girl was strapped into a harness attached to a wire that went on through the old buildings. I couldn't see the end of the wire. The girl raced down into the darkened lower half of the path that I couldn't see. After a few seconds, we heard loud cheering and whoops of laughters. I volunteered to go on it first and they strapped me into the harness.

"Alright, Lynn. When you reach the bottom, pull the brake. Be careful not to lose your head on the wreckage," a girl explained.

Before I could react, I was flying through the air. It whipped my hair around my face and I felt my heart race. For the first time, I truly felt Dauntless. As I passed along the undamaged glass side of a building, I saw my reflection gazing back at me. I felt excitement rush through my veins and I truly felt alive in that moment.

As I neared the end of the wire, many of the people at the bottom called out to me, telling me to pull the brake. I reached behind me desperately, hoping I'd grasp the brake in time before...

My fingers locked around the brake and I pulled it with all my might, stopping just short of the wall. I heaved a sigh of relief and watched as the others had their adrenaline rush. After everyone had gotten a chance to nearly give themselves a heart attack, we returned to the compound and said good night to our new friends. I searched for Alexa but eventually gave up due to my exhaustion.

I went into the sleeping quarters and laid in bed, eventually falling asleep.

_Starry skies, a full moon and harnesses attached to wires consumed my dreams..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was filler, I'm sorry. Next chapter will be up soon.


	7. Fear Landscape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fear landscapes are introduced in this chapter.

**_(Lynn's P.O.V.)_ **

I was only able to get about 3 hours of sleep last night. I felt shaky and exhausted as I pulled on my clothes and prepared for the day, along with the other initiates. We all looked like a parade of zombies. I guess no one could really sleep. Alexa and Justin came in and told us to go down to The Pit and have breakfast then meet them in the training room.

After breakfast, we met Alexa and Justin in the training room and they led us all to a new area. It was a hallway with a single door at the end.

"Here is where you'll be spending most of your time in the second challenge," Alexa said. "In here, you'll push your mind to the breaking point and conquer your fears... Unless they break you first."

I gulped and watched nervously as Justin called out a Dauntless-born initiate's name and Alexa led her into the room that stood beyond that large metal door. We all slumped against the wall or sat down near it. The nerves were thick in the air.

After about 10 minutes, the girl stumbled out of the room and she was pale and sweaty. Seeing her like that made me wonder what could be behind those doors. If it could do that to a Dauntless-born, I probably didn't stand a chance. A transfer initiate was called next. Jenna.

About 9 minutes after she went in, she ran out, pulled Tay to her feet and captured her lips with her own.

"My God, you don't know how long I've wanted to do that. Do you want to be my girlfriend?" Jenna asked breathlessly. Tay blushed and nodded, kissing her again.

I'd have loved to see them continue bonding, but Tay was called next. Jenna pecked her lips once more. "Be brave, my girl. It'll be alright."

7 minutes later, Tay walks out, her face contorted in pain. Jenna rushed to her side and walked her back to the sleeping quarters, both of them wishing Alex, Brian and I good luck.

Alex is called next, spending 10 minutes in the room. After him, Brian spends 7 minutes in there. Both of their reactions do nothing to soothe me as I am called next.

I stand on shaky legs as I walk towards the door. It opens, showing Alexa's sharp features. She led me inside and I quickly looked around the room. It was almost completely dark, excluding a computer with multiple monitors like the one Taylor used for my aptitude test.

"Sit here," she said, gesturing to a seat close to the computer.

I sat in the chair and she started attaching wires to my head. I watched her curiously as she leaned over me and brushed my hair from my neck and attached a wire to the back of my neck.

"Now, you're going into your fear landscape. Your worst fears will be brought to life and you must endure them. The simulation will progress as you deal with your fears and calm your heart rate. The quicker you do so, the better," she explained.

I closed my eyes and felt my surroundings shift. I opened my eyes and saw that I was tied up in a confined space. After a few seconds, I realized that I was in the trunk of a car. Just as I reached that realization, the trunk opened and I was dragged from the trunk and aggressively thrown to the ground. An unfamiliar man grabbed the collar of my jacket and lifted me to my feet.

"I always knew you weren't normal. You're different, aren't you?" he growled.

I whimpered and he slapped me. Tears ran down my face and he wrapped a hand around my throat. I could feel him squeezing and restricting my breathing. I panicked and remembered Alexa's words. This must mean I'm afraid of dying.

I looked at the man and suddenly, he let me go. He couldn't meet my gaze. I quickly took the knife he had in his pocket and cut the ropes on my wrists. He advanced on me and I held the knife up in defense.

_I was afraid of death._

"Let me go," I said calmly. My heart rate had calmed and the scenario changed. I was suddenly in Alexa's house. In her bedroom...

I looked around in confusion, then Alexa came out of the bathroom, wearing a black bra and some black skinny jeans.

She walked towards the bed, a hungry look in her eyes. I looked away as she crawled onto the bed and came closer to me. She kissed my collarbone and breathed against it, her breath hot with need.

"Look at me," she whispered lustfully.

I ignored her and kept looking away. She kissed my cheek and rested her index finger under my chin. Pulling my face gently towards hers, she pressed her lips against my own. Her hands slid up to caress my face and tangle themselves in my hair. I inadvertently let out a moan, allowing her to slip her tongue into my mouth. Her hands left my hair and trailed down my body, resting on my stomach.

A part of my mind screamed as she trailed her hands underneath my shirt. I pulled away from her lips, but that just caused her to attach them to my neck and suck the skin relentlessly.

"Alexa, stop," I gasped out.

She looked up at me, confusion in her eyes.

"Don't you trust me?" she asked gently.

I didn't want to upset her, but I didn't feel right doing this. I nodded reluctantly. She smiled and kissed me again. That part of my mind screamed again. I squirmed desperately and she pulled away in frustration.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"I can't do this," I said, feeling ashamed.

"I thought you were Dauntless, Lynn. You're brave enough for this. It's just being intimate with the woman you love. You do love me... right?" she said.

I love her more than anything, but I'm just not ready to do this.

_I have a fear of intimacy._

"Alexa, I love you more than anything but I'm not ready for intimacy. I will be, one day. Please be patient with me," I said as calmly as I could. She kissed my lips once more and the scenario changed again.

I was standing in front of Alexa, but she was facing away from me.

"Alexa," I called out to her.

She still didn't notice me. I walked closer to find her holding hands with another girl. She leaned in and kissed the girl. I felt my heart break as I watched them.

The scene shifted again. Alexa was in front of me again, but now she was facing me and she was down on one knee, a beautiful ring in her hands.

"Will you marry me?" she asked.

I nodded and said yes excitedly. She stood up and kissed me passionately. We stared into each other's eyes as we held each other close.

Suddenly, a man appeared and pulled her away from me. He looked frantic and a little... afraid. I was instantly worried, feeling my heart rate pick up speed.

"Alexa, we have to go now. The factionless are rebelling against the factions. They got Dane and they're coming for Sam!" he practically screamed.

Alexa pecked my lips once more. Before she could pull away, a gunshot rang in my ears...

She clutched her chest, a bullet wound located in her back. She slumped against me, gasping and frantically grabbing at my shirt. I wrapped my arms around her and allowed her to rest her weight on me. I kneeled, holding her close.

"It's gonna be okay! You'll be alright, Alexa. Just... dammit! Please don't leave me! I love you!" I sobbed.

She shushed me weakly and held a bloody palm to my face. I let my tears fall. Everything was going to be better for us. I was going to be a member of Dauntless. We were going to get married and be happy.

"If I can see you smile one more time with that beautiful light in your eyes, I'll die happy," she whispered hoarsely.

My heartbeat slowed down as I allowed myself to think happy thoughts about the two of us.

"Kiss me," she whispered.

I leaned down and pressed my lips against hers one last time. I felt her body disappear from my grip and I almost panicked.

Once I saw the next scenario though, I definitely panicked.

Alexa was standing on the edge of a building. I immediately recognized it as the building that led to the Dauntless compound. She was standing on the edge of certain death and my heart just couldn't take it.

"What're you doing, Alexa?" I asked fearfully.

"It's all so confusing. All the secrets, the lies, the pain... it's too much. I just want it all to stop. Lynn, I can't stop the voices. They haunt me constantly! It's driving me mad, I don't want this anymore!" she said, her voice progressively raising to a pained cry for help.

I ran to her and tried to catch her...

Her fingers slipped away from my own as she fell. I screamed in horror as I stared at her body, contorted in horrific angles.

"I'm so sorry, Alexa! I let you down," I sobbed.

_I'm afraid of losing Alexa, in every sense of that horrible thought._

I accepted that she was sad and that I didn't know and my heart was broken, but it slowed to a regular beat...

~~~

I sat up in the chair, gasping loudly. I was still in the dim room with Alexa and the monitors. She looked at me with confusion.

"How long do you think you were in the simulation?" she asked.

"About 15 minutes..." I gasped out, still struggling to regain my breath.

"4 and a half minutes, Lynn. You were in that simulation for 4 and a half minutes. You made the best time out of everyone so far," she said.

What is wrong with me? Why am I so different from everyone else here?

"Alexa, I—"

"We'll talk about it later. Meet me at my house. Sam has an extra key she can give you," she whispered. I nodded and left quickly.

I found Sam and Dane sitting over the edge of the bridge and watching the water below. I asked Sam about the key and she gave it to me. I ran to Alexa's house and opened the door, quickly getting settled in and thinking about what I wanted to tell Alexa later tonight.

_I think she deserves to know how I did so good in the simulation._

_She deserves to know that I'm Divergent..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me for taking so long to update.


	8. Alexa's Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexa's story and fears are revealed in this chapter.

_**(Alexa's P.O.V.)** _

As the last initiate, a Dauntless-born girl named Ellie, finished her simulation, I helped her up and started to pack up and shut the computer down. Ellie was behind Lynn by a minute and a half. If Lynn was in my initiation group, I would've been behind her by 15 seconds.

As I walked home, I thought about Lynn and what she wanted to talk to me about. I approached my front door and punched the code into the keypad. I walked into the living room and looked around.

"Lynn?" I called out.

Her voice rang through the house and I walked upstairs, finding her sitting on my bed and staring out at the moonlit sky.

"Hey," I whispered, slowly walking towards the bed.

She pulled me into a tight hug and buried her face in my neck. I held her close as she breathed against my skin. Her silent breathing was eventually followed by soft sobs. I pulled away from her and held her at arm length.

"Lynn, what's wrong?" I whispered.

"Alexa, I— I'm not normal! I'm a freak, there's something wrong with me! Alexa—"

"Shhh, come with me. I want to show you something," I said, taking her hand and leading her downstairs. I led her to the Compound, where we snuck past other Dauntless members and instructors. We reached the simulation room and I opened the door, locking it behind us once we were inside.

I turned on the computer and put in the pass code. Once I was logged in, I took wires that were attached to the computer and attached them to myself as Lynn looked on in surprise.

"C'mere," I said, patting my lap.

She came over and sat in my lap, shivering as I attached wires to her as well. I grabbed a needle filled with the simulation serum and injected it into a vein in my neck. Since the wires were attached to us both, the serum was affecting Lynn too. She rested her head on my chest and closed her eyes. I followed suit and closed my eyes.

~~~

As the familiar swirling in my stomach stopped, I opened my eyes and my heart almost stopped.

In front of me, a faceless man was holding a gun to Lynn's head as she squirmed in his grip. I tried to steady my thoughts as I analyzed the situation.

"Lynn, look at me," I said.

She looked at me as the man loaded the gun.

"It's gonna be okay."

The man pointed the gun back at her skull.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered, closing my eyes.

A gunshot rang through the air and my breath shook. I opened my eyes and saw Lynn with a gun, the man dead on the ground. She looked up at me and ran into my open arms.

The scene changed and I was in a familiar grey basement. I remember it from my childhood. There were rarely any good memories here.

"Come out, little girl," a deep voice boomed, followed by footsteps coming downstairs.

I quivered and backed away as the man came into view and smirked evilly at me.

"You were hiding from me, little girl. You know I don't like it when you hide, Alexa Gabrielle," he hissed.

I balled up near the floor as Lynn watched in utter confusion. Shrinking away as he walked towards me, I remember all the times he beat me and Sam.

"Daddy, please don't do this. Please don't beat me again. I'm sorry, I promise I'll be good," I pleaded.

"You look so much like your mother, Alexa Gabrielle. She was always so beautiful and she gave me two beautiful daughters. I loved her but she resisted me. She wanted to leave me and take you and Sam away from me, so I did what I had to do. Your sister and brother got in the way so I had to eliminate them," he said.

I felt completely disgusted by him now. He took another step towards me and kneeled, caressing my cheek. His touch caused me to shiver in disgust and try to move away from him.

"You've grown into such a beautiful woman, Alexa Gabrielle. I've always been proud of how attractive you are, both of you. I've hated the thought of young men coming to take you and your sister away from me. You're mine and only mine!" he said, taking his belt off and unbuttoning his pants.

Lynn quickly jumped on his back and tried to choke him. He pulled her off and threw her across the room, slamming her against the wall.

He focused on me again and tried to unbutton my jeans as I cried and squirmed desperately.

Suddenly, I heard something shatter and his grip on me went slack as he crumpled to the floor. Lynn stood over him and kicked him in the face repeatedly until I pulled her away.

As we calmed down, the scene shifted again.

Another faceless man held Sam in his grip, a knife pressed to her throat.

"Lexie, help me, please," she pleaded, her use of my childhood nickname shattering my rapidly beating heart.

"You don't have to do this," I attempted to reason.

My words fell upon deaf ears as the man started dragging the blade across Sam's skin.

"Stop!" Lynn screamed.

She suddenly had a knife in her hand and she launched it at him. It hit him in the forehead, causing him to let Sam go as he fell.

Sam ran to hug us and she disappeared as the scene changed again.

I heard the familiar screams of my mother, Angela and Gabe. I was reliving my worst memory right in front of Lynn.

It started with Gabe shoving dad as he tried to hit mom. Dad turned around and decked Gabe in the jaw, then kept punching him until he eventually snapped his neck. Angela screamed in horror and dad chased her through the house, dragging her into the bathroom and drowning her in the bathtub. Mom tried to stop him, but he... he violated her and suffocated her.

Sam and I hid in the basement until he went to bed and I took her back upstairs and tucked her into bed, standing over her like a watchdog and making sure the violent monster across the hall didn't try to attack my baby sister in her sleep.

"You were young. You didn't know what to do and that's not your fault. Torturing yourself won't change anything," Lynn whispered, taking my hand into her own.

I nodded and the scene changed once again.

This time, I was the one in danger. My father was pointing a gun at me, an evil grin on his face.

"I love you, Alexa Gabrielle," he whispered, cocking the gun.

I closed my eyes and bit my lip, waiting for him to pull the trigger. I heard some scuffling and opened my eyes to find Lynn and my dad wrestling over the gun.

She grabbed it and directed it at his chest, pulling the trigger. I let out a sob as she took me into her arms and kissed my forehead.

"It's okay. We're alright," she whispered.

What she didn't know was that my last fear wouldn't be okay at all. The scene shifted once more and my heart thudded in my chest.

I was the one holding the weapon this time. Lynn was on her knees with her hands handcuffed behind her back.

"Shoot her," a familiar voice commanded.

"What?" I hesitated.

Justin appeared from the shadows and smirked.

"Shoot her, now. Do it or I will," he hissed.

I looked back at Lynn, who was staring at me in horror. As I thought about it, darker thoughts took over and I felt myself shaking in fear.

This is not who I am. It's just a damn simulation. I can't physically hurt Lynn in here.

"I love you," I whispered and looked away, pulling the trigger.

~~~

I sat up suddenly. The simulation had ended and I felt better about my ability to overcome my fears. Lynn opened her eyes and hugged me.

"Alexa, I'm sorry. I didn't know," she whispered.

"Lynn, what were your results on the aptitude test?" I asked.

"Abnegation," she said simply.

"Bullshit, what were your results?" I pressed.

"What do you want to know for?" she snapped.

I sighed and slid out of the chair, leaving her sitting there. I turned the computer off and opened the door, walking out of the room. Lynn followed me with a scowl on her face.

"Don't ignore me, Alexa," she demanded.

"Tell me your results," I hissed.

We walked into my house and I started changing into my pajamas. Lynn changes into hers and crawls into bed with me.

"Divergent," she whispered.

"Excuse me?" I said.

"My aptitude test results. I'm Divergent," she said.

"I am too," I responded.

She gasped and stared at me.

"Lynn, I'm going to tell you some things about myself and my past. Can I trust you?" I asked seriously.

She nodded and took my hand into hers.

"Okay, I'm not Dauntless-born, as you may have figured out from the simulation. My father is the Abnegation leader. He may have been superficially charming out in public, but he was terrifying behind closed doors. He killed my mother, my brother and sister and often abused us. The night after he killed them, Sam and I snuck out to go exploring. We met a Dauntless-born boy named Dane Peterson, who was instantly smitten with Sam. He took us to go play in the abandoned buildings near the Compound and that's when we realized that we wanted to be Dauntless. When my choosing day came, I obviously chose Dauntless, but I was terrified of leaving Sam on her own for 3 years. Dane offered to have her secretly live with him for those years until her choosing ceremony. They became very close after just a few months and started dating. After we both transferred from Abnegation, the rumors started. Erudite had been at Abnegation's throat for years. Naturally, I didn't say anything because I didn't want other initiates to know that I'm Gabriel San Román's daughter. After initiation, life was pretty good for me. I felt happy for Sam and Dane, but I was also lonely. Then, a certain girl came along and caught my eye," I said.

"Oh really? Is she someone I know?" Lynn joked.

"I should hope so. She's quite interesting," I laughed.

"Is she pretty?" she asked.

"I don't know. Check a mirror and tell me what you think of her," I teased.

Lynn laughed and snuggled into my chest. I buried my face in her hair and inhaled her scent. Her stomach growled and she giggled in embarrassment. I stood up and put her on my back, carrying her downstairs to the kitchen and setting her down on the counter.

"What are you in the mood for, Lynn?" I asked.

"Can you make tacos?" she requested.

I nodded and searched through my cabinets for ingredients. I didn't know if Lynn was a vegan or vegetarian or not, which was confusing.

"Lynn, do you eat meat?" I asked nervously.

She nodded wordlessly and I sighed in relief. Grabbing the meat, I started cooking. Lynn made a salad as a side for the tacos and it was delicious! I made lemonade and we ate in the living room while we watched television.

After dinner, we went upstairs and brushed our teeth and prepared for bed. As we cuddled, Lynn hummed softly as she ran her fingers through my hair.

"Alexa?" she whispered.

I looked over at her. She just stared back at me, unspoken words heavy in the air. As if we were speaking out loud, I nodded and she shifted towards me and kissed me. I kissed back with equal intensity and groaned as she tugged my hair. I slipped my tongue into her mouth and coaxed her tongue into a dance with mine. We pulled away and tried to catch our breath as we stared at each other.

"Be my girlfriend, please," I whispered breathlessly.

"Of course, Alexa," she smiled.

I closed my eyes in utter bliss, feeling sleep tug at me.

"Alexa, one more thing. You _**WERE**_ Gabriel San Román's daughter. You're not anymore. You are Alexa San Román AKA Six. You're courageous and beautiful. I'm proud of you," she whispered before sleep took her.

_I'm proud of you too, Lynn Gunn..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took several times to write before I could post it.


	9. Bloody Fists

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Becoming a borderline addict to this story. Needed some time away, so please enjoy this chapter.

_**(Lynn's P.O.V.)** _

I woke up to a pair of warm arms wrapped tightly around my waist. I shifted and faced the source of the warmth that encased my body. I came face to face with a sleeping beauty. A few strands of hair were being blown back and forth by her breath. I silently untangled myself from her death grip and walked into the bathroom.

Looking in the mirror, the girl that looked back at me had changed from the girl I used to be. This girl was braver, more true to herself. Staring straight into my own eyes instead of stealing shy glances at my reflection in the mirror at my old home. A home this girl wouldn't want to be a part of. The girl that stared back at me now is Lynn Gunn. I'm not Lyndsey Gunnulfsen anymore, I can't be.

My reflection was soon joined by that of a tired, raven haired, green eyed beauty. She wrapped her arms around my waist and pressed a chaste kiss on my shoulder.

"Hey, you're up early. Feeling alright?" she asked.

I nodded and met her gaze in the mirror.

"You look tired. Go back to bed," I gently commanded.

"Are you coming back to bed?" she asked.

I slowly nodded and she pecked my lips before returning to bed.

I waited a bit and crept into the room to find Alexa fast asleep.

I grabbed some clothes from the drawer and took a quick shower. After the shower, I dried off and got dressed, being careful not to wake Alexa.

I silently left the house and walked to the Compound. Walking across the bridge, I stopped to admire the rushing water. It reminded me of Alexa for some reason. I continued to the training room to find it occupied.

Justin, Alex, Brian, Jenna, Tay and a few Dauntless-born initiates were there, training together.

I stepped into the room and everyone stopped and stared at me. I expected them to glare and start ignoring me, but they did the exact opposite. They all crowded around me, greeting me and giving me hugs.

Justin came forward, scratching the back of his neck nervously.

"Sorry I didn't tell you about all this, Lynn," he said.

"What is all of this?" I asked.

"Well, we're all training together to help each other. It kinda started the night we did Capture The Flag. We all just got along so well and we formed some good friendships and didn't want to let that go, so we decided that we would fight even the slightest possibility of that. It kinda formed a chain. Some of us Dauntless-born initiates decided to invite the transfers to train with us so we could all become Dauntless together. Everyone, especially a certain someone and I, wanted you to be a part of Dauntless. I mean, a Stiff was the first jumper, won Capture The Flag and stood up to Justin Hills! If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're a natural born Dauntless girl," Justin said.

I smiled at him. "Wait... who was it that wanted me to be a part of this so badly?"

"Me," a voice said.

Everyone turned to see Alexa emerge from the hallway. She walked towards me and pulled me into a passionate kiss. I gasped against her lips and pulled away.

"Alexa, what are you doing?" I asked worriedly.

"It's alright, Lynn. I'm not your instructor here. We'll be training together. Plus, everyone here already knows and they won't tell anyone. What happens in training stays in training," she said.

I kissed her and thanked Justin for bringing this group together. I met a few new faces and made friends with them. The Dauntless-born initiates were an interesting bunch.

There were twins named Mercedes and Phoenix, a tall boy with raven hair named Andy, a pretty chill boy named Tyler, a girl that seemingly never took off her sunglasses named Sandra, Oli and his girlfriend, Hannah and a mystery person that hadn't shown up tonight.

I got to know everyone more and we all continued training. We shifted from blocking blows from our sparring partners to throwing knives at the targets on the wall.

I was naturally good at this, having hit the center circle of the target with every knife. I smiled in satisfaction, preparing to throw a final knife when I felt someone grab my wrist and slip an arm around my waist.

"Mmm, your form has improved a lot. You aren't as tense anymore," Alexa whispered into my ear.

I giggled as she kissed my cheek and pressed her body against mine. I lifted the knife as she kissed along my neck and threw it at the target. It hit directly in the center, surprising me.

"I see you like the attention," Alexa whispered, turning me around and kissing me.

I groaned and tangled my fingers in her hair, biting her lip and trying to control myself. The way she can coax my body into reacting to her touch... if she knew what her touch made my body do, she'd use that to her advantage.

"Let's work on hand to hand combat," I said.

She reluctantly agreed and we walked over to the punching bag. She went first and practiced her kicks. After a few sessions, she stepped aside and let me use the punching bag. I practiced my punches until my fists were red and the skin was sensitive.

We all heard someone storm into the room and stopped.

Looking up, I saw Jesse walking quickly over to me. Alexa stepped in front of me, causing Jesse to stop in his tracks.

"If you take another step, I will bash your goddamn skull in. Don't ever come near Lynn ever again. You are a coward, you hear me? You're nothing but a goddamn coward!" Alexa growled.

"You gonna hide behind her now? Why don't you fight me? I'm not the coward here. I'm challenging you, Lynn Gunn. If you wanna hide behind her, then fine. Continue being her bitch to your heart's content," Jesse taunted.

Alexa stepped forward and I quickly grabbed her arms, holding her back. Once she had somewhat settled down, I stepped up to Jesse and pushed past his shoulder, walking into the ring.

He followed me and we prepared to fight.

"Go ahead and cry for me, Stiff. If you cry for me, I'll go easy on you," he smirked.

I quickly kicked him in the chest, then followed up with a punch to his jaw, knocking that smirk off his face.

He stood up and charged at me, grabbing my body and slamming me to the ground. He tried to smash my chest with his foot but I evaded his maneuver and swept his leg, grabbing his arm and locking it into a hold.

As my grip wore on his bones, his screams got louder. I finally let go and stood over him.

"Go ahead, finish me off. You can't do it, can you? You're a weak, stupid little girl and you aren't cut out for Dauntless," he said arrogantly.

Something in me just snapped.

I punched his face again and got on top of him, still hammering aggressively at his face. I knocked a few of his teeth out, broke his nose and just kept going. He was bleeding pretty heavily but I couldn't stop myself. I screamed obscenities as I continued my assault. The skin on my fists had split and my blood was mingling with his on his face.

Someone finally managed to pull me off of him and a few nurses came and took him to the infirmary.

Everyone looked at me in utter shock, which aggravated me to no end. I stormed out of the training room and went to sit on the edge of the bridge and stare out at the water. I sighed and finally let the tears fall. Jesse was right, I'm not cut out for Dauntless. I should've stayed in Abnegation.

"I should've stayed. I don't belong here," I whispered to myself, hugging my knees to my chest.

I felt a pair of arms encircle me and that familiar lavender scent engulfed me.

"I used to think the same thing, Lynn," Alexa whispered. "Y'know, I think the faction system is wrong. Why can't we be all of the traits that the factions represent? I don't want to be shoved into one category. It's all so flawed. We can be brave, selfless, honest, intelligent and peaceful. Why confine people to one choice? That's what life is made of... choices."

I buried my face into her chest and sobbed. I'm so helplessly lost in love with this brilliant, beautiful woman. She picked me up into her arms and carried me back to her house. She laid me down and gave me my pajamas.

"Let's just take a nap, Lynn. Today's a free day so we'll spend it together. We can deal with it when you feel stronger. I'll help you through this, Lynn. We'll be alright, I promise," she whispered.

I closed my eyes and fell into her arms, snuggling into her warm chest.

_I love you, Alexa San Román. I love you more than anything..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was just really bad filler. I'm sorry about this.


	10. I Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexa confronts Jesse, then later takes Lynn on a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. Guess the chapter ideas will come as they very well please to.

_**(Alexa's P.O.V.)** _

I disinfected Lynn's hands and wrapped them up, avoiding eye contact with her. I'm afraid if I look into her eyes, I'll see my 16-year-old self again. Of course, when I snapped, I did a lot more damage to Justin. I beat him within an inch of his life, so his hatred for me from that point on wasn't exactly unwarranted but he hated me before that.

"Alexa, look at me. Say something, please," Lynn pleaded.

I hesitantly looked at her and she frowned.

"Are you afraid of me?" she asked.

I shook my head. "No, you just remind me of when I was an initiate. I did the same thing to Justin. He pissed me off so I made him regret it. He just couldn't handle being second to a Stiff. He still can't."

She nodded in understanding and I continued to nurse her wounds. She had a few bruises elsewhere on her body that I needed to take care of, but I didn't want to freak her out. Might as well run the risk for her.

"Lynn, I need you to turn around and lift your shirt for me. I'm just going to examine your back for any bruises," I said.

She turned around and lifted her shirt. Luckily, she didn't have many bruises and the ones she did have were small and inconsequential. I let her lay down while I went to the infirmary to see a certain someone.

I walked into the room and saw him laying in a bed, looking absolutely pitiful. The sight stirred a sick joy in my chest. I slowly walked over to his bed and glared down at him.

"How does it feel to be on this side of a brutal ass kicking?" I smirked.

He groaned and glared back at me.

"Come to rub it in? Go ahead," he snarled weakly.

I smiled to myself at the thought that Lynn did this much damage to someone who truly underestimated her. She's just like me.

 _'No, she's not.'_ My subconscious growled at me.

_'You choose to be a monster. She can be something so much better than that. If you really love her like you say you do, you won't do this to her. You won't corrupt her and you won't teach her to be cold towards others.'_

I rolled my eyes and sat on Jesse's bed. He trembled in fear and I shook my head in disappointment.

"If I wanted to do more damage to you, I would've done it already," I sighed.

He relaxed slightly and stared at me. "Why are you here?"

"I wanted to know why you underestimated Lynn so much. I mean, she's clearly capable of snapping and losing control, at least for a little while," I said.

"I've always had this kind of disdain towards Stiffs and to just have her come along and be better than me is frustrating. I've been Dauntless my entire life and some stupid Stiff, and not just any Stiff, but a Stiff _**GIRL**_ just comes along and gets lucky and is ridiculously good at all of this. It pisses me off," he hissed

I growled when he called Lynn stupid and he flinched.

"So you hate her because she's a threat to you?" I questioned.

"None of the others could be such a threat to me being a part of Dauntless. I'll do anything to be a part of Dauntless, even if that means killing anyone that is a threat to me. Your little Stiff better watch her back, Alexa," he laughed.

He's a lot stupider than I originally thought.

"You're seriously going to threaten my girlfriend while laying in a hospital bed with a pissed off and armed lesbian standing over you, Jesse? I've underestimated your idiocy," I laughed.

He just stared at me, mouth agape and widened eyes.

I suddenly realized what I said. I just told him that I'm dating Lynn.

I hastily pulled my gun out of my messenger bag and cocked it, pointing it at his forehead.

"If you so much as utter a single word about us to anyone, I will end your pathetic existence myself. You hear me? I will not have you endanger Lynn's chances of being Dauntless. I won't stand for any of it. I don't give a damn about your life, in fact, you'd be much more useful to me if you were dead. Keep your mouth shut and maybe I'll help you, we clear?" I growled.

He nodded and I put my gun back into my bag and left the infirmary. I returned home to find Lynn looking at my old photos. She smiled at one and my heart melted. She was holding a photo of Sam, Dane and I.

I tried to be quiet as I took my jacket off and hung it on the rack but she looked up and saw me.

"O-oh, I didn't mean to intrude. I was just looking for my shoes and found this under your bed," she said, gesturing to an intricately decorated box.

It had photos of me and Sam. I kept it and looked at the photos when I felt upset.

"It's alright. I actually wanted to show you this today anyway. I feel like you need to see it," I said.

We went upstairs and sat on my bed. I told her the story behind each photo as we went through them together. I wiped away a tear as I finished talking about the last photo and put them all away.

"You're amazing and wonderful," Lynn whispered.

"How? I've got so much going wrong right now. I mean, I'm prone to terribly violent rages sometimes. It's unpredictable and I just wake up feeling shitty and irritable. Nothing wonderful about that," I slumped.

"You're wonderful because you can smile through all of the horrible things life has thrown at you. You're amazing because you can be brave even in the midst of danger," she said.

"Lynn, my fears are more of an internal nature, as opposed to others' fears of external forces. We can't really control what we fear but we can control whether we want to overcome it or allow it to consume us. I choose not to let my fears consume me."

I walked into the bathroom and stared at my reflection. Am I really as brave as Lynn thinks I am? I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. Examining my reflection, I think back to when Lynn cut her hair and smile.

Taking the scissors and electric razor in hand, I walked back into the bedroom.

"Lynn, I want you to do something for me," I said.

She looked up at me and saw the items in my hands.

"Will you cut my hair?" I asked.

She nodded and walked over to me.

"Let's go into the bathroom. I'll be able to see it better," she said.

I followed her into the bathroom and stood in front of her as she examined me.

"Do you have an idea of how you want me to cut it?" she asked.

"I just want you to shave the left side. Kinda like yours but a full shave," I said.

She nodded in understanding and took a ribbon and tied back most of my hair, leaving only the left side unrestrained. As she took the scissors, I gasped and realized that this is my last chance to object if I changed my mind. She took the hair between the scissors and I closed my eyes.

Snip.

The severed hair fell to the floor and I smiled internally. The hum of the electric razor reached my ears and I felt my eyes close again. It touched against the side of my head, moving in slow, long strokes like the paintbrush of a steady artist.

The hum eventually died and I opened my eyes, smiling in satisfaction at my reflection.

"Thank you, Lynn," I whispered.

She laid a kiss on my cheek and went to clean up the hair. I felt my heart swelling for the beautiful girl that had come into life at such a perfect time.

"Lynn, since today is a free day, do you want to go on a date with me?" I asked nervously.

She smiled and nodded. "I'd love to."

I quickly went downstairs and started hastily cooking something for our date. I opted for a simple salad and Dauntless chocolate cakes. It's good in general, but my recipe is especially good from others' perspectives.

I finished making the salad and cakes and put the containers in my messenger bag. Lynn came downstairs dressed in one of my jackets, a black V-neck and skinny jeans.

I took her hand and we walked towards the location I had planned to use for our date. It was an old abandoned building that we'd have to climb into, but it's worth it to watch the sunset.

We finally reached the building and started climbing. Lynn followed me once we'd crawled into the building. I made my way to a busted window and climbed out of it, helping Lynn out to our destination.

We stood on an old fire escape that gave us a perfect view of the sky. I sat down and started unloading my bag. Setting the containers down, I smiled over at Lynn and patted the spot next to me. She sat down and I gave her a container of salad. She ate it gratefully, complimenting me.

"I want you to try my Dauntless chocolate cakes," I said, holding out the container full of them.

She took one and bit into it. She moaned and popped the rest of it into her mouth.

"Alexa, that is amazing. May I have another?" she asked.

I smiled and nodded. She eagerly took another and ate it. I finished my salad and took a cake, biting into it. I've honestly outdone myself, this is more delicious than usual. I probed my brain, trying to figure out how I made this so much more delicious than it usually is. I didn't stray from my written recipe so what could it be?

Lynn took my hand into hers and leaned her head onto my shoulder.

"Alexa, this is amazing. I love it here. It's so simple yet beautiful," she whispered.

"I used to come here when I was an initiate. I'd come and just sit here, looking up at the sky and thinking about whatever was on my mind," I said.

She buried her face in my neck and I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her into my lap. She snuggled into me and I sang to her.

"Sometimes, I'd write music when I came up here," I whispered.

She hummed softly against my skin and I sighed contentedly. I wish I could be here with her forever. Never having to worry about what people would think. No warring factions, no drama. Just us two. Just two young woman in love with each other. It'd be better that way.

"I'll never leave you, Lynn. I promise I will stay by your side and when you become a member of Dauntless, we'll get to be together truly. I love you, Lynn Gunn," I whispered.

She gasped and kissed me passionately. "I love you too, Alexa San Román."

After we watched the sunset, Lynn had fallen asleep on my chest so I carried her home and put her to bed. As I was leaving the room, Lynn groaned and reached out for me.

"No, Alexa, you promised," she whispered sleepily.

"I know I did, baby. I meant it," I said, walking over and getting under the blankets with her.

She laid on my body, entangling our legs and resting a hand on my chest. She chastely kissed my neck and closed her eyes.

"I love you, Alexa," she murmured.

"I love you too, Lynn," I whispered, kissing her temple and falling asleep.

_This girl is my everything now..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this was satisfactory. Advice is welcome.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed the chapter and are looking to read more from me soon. I'll have the next chapter up as soon as I can.


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